Good charts can always get better

Yesterday, I sent Sa-Sa this graph from the blog "indexed"...


Then she replied with this AMAZING art form:



I texted her that while that brought me great joy and comic relief, it didn't really capture how Chinese Take out also makes me quite Happy AND Sad at the same time.

Within moments, she took action. Responding, "You're right. Perhaps this is more accurate:"

I was in a meeting and so I tried so hard not to LOL or pee my pants (can we make that a thing, please: "PMP"?!?) that I nearly burst into tears.

Here's the gussied up version

Today, Sarah sent a disturbing text message. A photo of a fork with a missing tine, and a caption of : "Ummmm, I guess I ate that".

How does something like that happen? Wouldn't you think she would notice chewing on something like that? The other day, my dog Beau vomited promptly after eating his dinner. What came up was perfectly in tact dog food that looked like it had literally been dumped out of his bowl and onto our carpet. Not to be wasted, he proceeded to prove to us that food tastes better the second time around. But the real lesson we learned here is that clearly, Beau did not chew his food. He was simply eating way too fast. Sarah, is this how you eat your lunch at work? If so, then I suggest you find a new place of employment, where you can actually take the time to chew your food and practice safe eating.

As for your fragmented fork, I've made a poster that you should hang up around your office.

 

Or maybe you should just use a metal fork from now on.

-JC

I made a cartoon too:

Those who can...

Add quality artistic posts to the blog...

Those who can't, just post a complaint about it...

Remember when we used to write on this blog...

This is unacceptable, especially for you Tara

This makes me sad...

Hurricane Irene is here

Things don't look so good for the blog, so I got out my crayons and drew this chart.

Isn't it Ironic...

Vs.

Things that make you go hmm....

Well ladies since I've last seen you I feel like what I've been on is a scavenger hunt of the most ridiculous things my eyes have ever seen. It seems as though lately the universe has just been tossing me these treats as if to test my humor. Well guess what universe - I get it...

For starters...let me start you with this...

Yes this subaru has a lovely bike rack. Does it need to be used to hold a toddlers bike?? Maybe some of you moms can answer this one. but it seemed as though they had ample room in the car to store this tiny bike and could have saved me the trouble of nearly swerving off the road to capture this pic.

Speaking of nearly swerving off the road to capture a pic..

I'm not entirely sure this needs an explanation. Yes it's a tiny dog on the back of a hog. and yes - he's wearing doggy goggles...safety first I guess...

Speaking of safety first....hey Erin did you pull your back out getting into your car this day??? Just put this up for the classical laugh

Now this one is more for you ladies. I recently parked behind a car, was rushing out and look up and what do my eyes appears but a little old lady waddling out of her car with this license plate...

Was it my own version of that movie where you get to see your own future? Maybe. but I'd like to see the future bring me something better than an O2 tank, a 2002 Impala, and a bad perm of my short white hair.

But perhaps the most shocking of things my eyes have seen has to be this...

If swunt isn't a word - then I don't know what is...

It's Wednesday...

I just wanted to say
"Hi"
And check in- how is everyone?

Britt- are u getting amped up for sushi mania 2?!?
Jax- are u still fuming about the small number of comments from your last post? (I would be.)
Linds- are u still sanding every day?
Katy- have u accepted the invite to be an author on this blog yet?
Tara- are you still convinced that u will get amazing charts from your sister to post here during vacation?
Web... Sarah... Others...
Hello???
Is this thing turned on???

I made a few charts last night, but they were totally non-sensical. I might still post them here anyway.

It's Part of the Hippocratic Oath...

8:30pm - Eating ice cream on the beach in Narraganset. Katy is not supposed to be on call, but due to miscommunication among her subordinates, receives a call from the hospital.

Lab: "Your patient's lab results from 3:30 this afternoon are in. His blood sugar level is 2."

Katy: "Great, so he is probably dead. Now I'm gonna have to go to a wake."

Minutes of discussion on the inappropriate hilarity of the lab taking so long to get those vital results back.

Jackie: "Wait, why would you have to go to the wake?"

Katy: "It's part of the hippocratic oath."

Sarah: "That's just plain ridiculous..."

T-shirt that Katy will inevitably have to wear to the wake, showing her support of the family on behalf of vacationing medical professionals everywhere:






























*Disclaimer: It is not likely that Katy's patient actually died, as he is a long-time sufferer of diabetes and should have had the common sense to recognize his plummeting blood sugar level and give himself an insulin shot

Opps...I did it again!

Ok...I had to post something, this was getting borderline REDIC! First...instead of creating a T-shirt I did something even BETTER (only because I didn't know how to create one) and made a Banner, with clip art....BE "J". Second, you will see the graph that follows discussing the current outlook and productivity...

First Image: Second Image:

WTF? And no not the family

It's been a week and no new posts? :(

A chart on this topic is pending.....stay tuned

DEPRESSION

I LOVE ALL YOU FBAGS AND WILL MISS YOU SOO SMURFIN MUCH IT HURTS MY HEART!!!!!!

A chart will follow at some point!
xo

As fast as I can...

FIRST, I'd like to thank Jaxson and COMPLIMENT HER for single handedly keeping this blog and the morale UP, UP, UP... THANK YOU

Without your (slightly threatening) encouragement, and depressing expressions of your waivering mental health status, I would not have (literally) DROPPED EVERYTHING i WAS WORKING ON to post some graphs...

CHART ONE: EXPLANATION
OF MY TIME SPENT AT WORK TODAY



As you can see, I didn't have time CREATE the CHART the proper way, with data, and spreadsheets, and whatnot...
but I wanted to respond quickly, so I just drew them on the back of a napkin and uploaded them as fast as I could!!!

The next bar graph is meant to show the things in my life that get a "quick response" when they/he/she call out in need:



I hope this proves my level of devotion and commitment to my IMPORTANT commitments!

Wait...

For fear that the previous post might be too 'negative' for some more 'sensitive' types, I just wanted to reinforce that, in all actuality, I am very much looking forward to the game tonight, as well as the pooler caddy, and will not be spending that time in bed. See...

Where is the enthusiasm?

I'm disappointed in the activity of the blog this past week. Because there has been none. Activity that is. If that is in any way unclear, I have created a chart to express the exact amount of activity that there's been on "Charts, Graphs, and T-Shirt Ideas". See below.


















I know that I, myself, am as much to blame as anyone else. However, having been previously disappointed by the reaction and comments to the past couple of posts, I've been feeling that enthusiasm for the blog has dipped. This is really affecting my emotions, as you can see in the graph below.

















It really doesn't take much to keep me 'happy'. Even an activity rating of 2, on a scale of 0-10 keeps me from slight disappointment. But with the recent '0' activity, my only hope is that Katy can write me a prescription for something to help me with my blog-post-deprivation-depression, else I might not be able to get out of bed to play tonight.

No Reward! Or is there?

Ok so I went for a run yesterday at the trail and when I got back to the parking lot I saw this sign and had to take a picture of it. Albeit I feel bad for the cat, I couldn't help but think about missing missy...

The Importance of Planned vs Actual

As a financial professional (insert your laugh here) - I am constantly reminded of the importance of planned versus actuals. In work mode that tends to be financially driven numbers. If the actual spend is less than we planned, I'm doing my job right. Since they've kept me around this long and I tend to save my company money - I must be good at comparing planned vs. actuals. Now some may think that this knowledge and experience would shadow over into my personal life. And to those folks I'd say - boy are you wrong.

I tried to reason this into my life with my planning to break up with someone I had been seeing. As I spoke to some of you at cooler caddy - you were aware - others were apparently "Shocked" (see Jackie's post below) - which let me tell you - you are NOT the only one.....

However don't feel bad for Boy X just yet. I gave him plenty of warning signs, he just chose to over look them.

Now as far as how the actual event went let me start by providing the best advice I think I've ever received to date, courtesy of Teri:

• "You need to arrive early....order a dirty martini....slam it down....order another dirty martini....now this next step Sarah is so important - PAY YOUR TAB. You do NOT want to break up with him and THEN have to wait for the Tab to arrive. Trust me!!"
  

When I went home that night I thought about what I was going to say....which obviously lead me to think about how he would react...

Compared to how it ACTUALLY went down.....

For those that are chart illiterate (Tara) - I was left at the bar. To which my immediate response was relief and of course uncontrollable laughter. When I got back into my car George Michael's "Freedom" was playing on my radio (no joke) - and I felt as though that was all the closure I needed...