Remember when we used to write on this blog...

Hurricane Irene is here

Things don't look so good for the blog, so I got out my crayons and drew this chart.

Things that make you go hmm....

Well ladies since I've last seen you I feel like what I've been on is a scavenger hunt of the most ridiculous things my eyes have ever seen. It seems as though lately the universe has just been tossing me these treats as if to test my humor. Well guess what universe - I get it...

For starters...let me start you with this...

Yes this subaru has a lovely bike rack. Does it need to be used to hold a toddlers bike?? Maybe some of you moms can answer this one. but it seemed as though they had ample room in the car to store this tiny bike and could have saved me the trouble of nearly swerving off the road to capture this pic.

Speaking of nearly swerving off the road to capture a pic..

I'm not entirely sure this needs an explanation. Yes it's a tiny dog on the back of a hog. and yes - he's wearing doggy goggles...safety first I guess...

Speaking of safety first....hey Erin did you pull your back out getting into your car this day??? Just put this up for the classical laugh

Now this one is more for you ladies. I recently parked behind a car, was rushing out and look up and what do my eyes appears but a little old lady waddling out of her car with this license plate...

Was it my own version of that movie where you get to see your own future? Maybe. but I'd like to see the future bring me something better than an O2 tank, a 2002 Impala, and a bad perm of my short white hair.

But perhaps the most shocking of things my eyes have seen has to be this...

If swunt isn't a word - then I don't know what is...

As fast as I can...

FIRST, I'd like to thank Jaxson and COMPLIMENT HER for single handedly keeping this blog and the morale UP, UP, UP... THANK YOU

Without your (slightly threatening) encouragement, and depressing expressions of your waivering mental health status, I would not have (literally) DROPPED EVERYTHING i WAS WORKING ON to post some graphs...

CHART ONE: EXPLANATION
OF MY TIME SPENT AT WORK TODAY



As you can see, I didn't have time CREATE the CHART the proper way, with data, and spreadsheets, and whatnot...
but I wanted to respond quickly, so I just drew them on the back of a napkin and uploaded them as fast as I could!!!

The next bar graph is meant to show the things in my life that get a "quick response" when they/he/she call out in need:



I hope this proves my level of devotion and commitment to my IMPORTANT commitments!

Where is the enthusiasm?

I'm disappointed in the activity of the blog this past week. Because there has been none. Activity that is. If that is in any way unclear, I have created a chart to express the exact amount of activity that there's been on "Charts, Graphs, and T-Shirt Ideas". See below.


















I know that I, myself, am as much to blame as anyone else. However, having been previously disappointed by the reaction and comments to the past couple of posts, I've been feeling that enthusiasm for the blog has dipped. This is really affecting my emotions, as you can see in the graph below.

















It really doesn't take much to keep me 'happy'. Even an activity rating of 2, on a scale of 0-10 keeps me from slight disappointment. But with the recent '0' activity, my only hope is that Katy can write me a prescription for something to help me with my blog-post-deprivation-depression, else I might not be able to get out of bed to play tonight.

That's what friends are for....

Hello "Friends" -

This week has really opened my eyes. I have recently come to terms with who my real friends are. These people will support you no matter what decision you make…..that is …..unless that decision is to attend a different softball game than the one they're playing in. After an in depth texting "conversation" with Jackie I realized there are very few acceptable reasons to miss a Cheshire Softball game. Although we'd all assume a Lil Wayne Concert is one of those items - we are in fact wrong. I'm simply embarrassed for anyone that would think otherwise.















As most of you know I did in fact miss a game this week for one of the above "unacceptable" items. This resulted in complete destruction of my reputation as a reliable player as well as the destruction of my self esteem. Should I have gone to Cheshire and skipped my co-ed game??? Should I have risked my co-ed team forfeit due to not enough girls to play?? Should I have never signed up for that team?? These were all thoughts in my head as I was laying in bed last night receiving ridiculous amounts of sh*t for missing one game. Which leads me to this….
























Now for those that chose to respond to my lack of attendance with Option D - Cyber Bullying - well shame on you...



















As I recover from the copious amounts of cyber-bullying I have been receiving I have to ask myself - is this abuse worth the joy of being on this team? Simple answer - yes.

Sunday night after a good weekend

I Checked the blog about 12 times since I left work on Friday. [But I think I normally check it 12-20 times a day during the week.]

At this point, I got sad that there was nothing new added. So I whipped out my new apps on the iPhone and worked up these charts. It mean to say, I think there is a correlation between having "outdoor fun" and ignoring the f-bag blog. Unless that outdoor fun happens during softball games, and then the next day enjoys a proportional bump in blog attention

PS- the apps I downloaded, pretty much suck in terms of not being able to handle more complex graphs. As you can imagine, these graphs should have been combined with an overlay of the 2 data sets. I do have an app that overlays data sets and makes more complex line and area graphs, but it won't let you export them

PPS- when are we going to sushi palace again?

Are we talking in 'chart' now?

Today was a beautiful day...from 5am til 5:59pm. Then, at 6:00pm, we had exactly 30 minutes of rain. In that tiny window of time, our game was canceled.

Below is a chart that I came up with to best summarize today's weather. It sounds crazy, but I even verbalized this chart while sitting in my car, admitting that when major events occur, the first thought that crosses my mind is 'What chart would best depict that?'.