Things that make you go hmm....

Well ladies since I've last seen you I feel like what I've been on is a scavenger hunt of the most ridiculous things my eyes have ever seen. It seems as though lately the universe has just been tossing me these treats as if to test my humor. Well guess what universe - I get it...

For starters...let me start you with this...

Yes this subaru has a lovely bike rack. Does it need to be used to hold a toddlers bike?? Maybe some of you moms can answer this one. but it seemed as though they had ample room in the car to store this tiny bike and could have saved me the trouble of nearly swerving off the road to capture this pic.

Speaking of nearly swerving off the road to capture a pic..

I'm not entirely sure this needs an explanation. Yes it's a tiny dog on the back of a hog. and yes - he's wearing doggy goggles...safety first I guess...

Speaking of safety first....hey Erin did you pull your back out getting into your car this day??? Just put this up for the classical laugh

Now this one is more for you ladies. I recently parked behind a car, was rushing out and look up and what do my eyes appears but a little old lady waddling out of her car with this license plate...

Was it my own version of that movie where you get to see your own future? Maybe. but I'd like to see the future bring me something better than an O2 tank, a 2002 Impala, and a bad perm of my short white hair.

But perhaps the most shocking of things my eyes have seen has to be this...

If swunt isn't a word - then I don't know what is...

That's what friends are for....

Hello "Friends" -

This week has really opened my eyes. I have recently come to terms with who my real friends are. These people will support you no matter what decision you make…..that is …..unless that decision is to attend a different softball game than the one they're playing in. After an in depth texting "conversation" with Jackie I realized there are very few acceptable reasons to miss a Cheshire Softball game. Although we'd all assume a Lil Wayne Concert is one of those items - we are in fact wrong. I'm simply embarrassed for anyone that would think otherwise.















As most of you know I did in fact miss a game this week for one of the above "unacceptable" items. This resulted in complete destruction of my reputation as a reliable player as well as the destruction of my self esteem. Should I have gone to Cheshire and skipped my co-ed game??? Should I have risked my co-ed team forfeit due to not enough girls to play?? Should I have never signed up for that team?? These were all thoughts in my head as I was laying in bed last night receiving ridiculous amounts of sh*t for missing one game. Which leads me to this….
























Now for those that chose to respond to my lack of attendance with Option D - Cyber Bullying - well shame on you...



















As I recover from the copious amounts of cyber-bullying I have been receiving I have to ask myself - is this abuse worth the joy of being on this team? Simple answer - yes.

MVP Standings...

And the MVP Leaders are...










As I'm sure many of you know I have been collecting data since the beginning of the season. This data has directly lead to our current MVP Standings. Since this data goes as far back as our pre-season get-together at Deb and Sue's I was forced to include Teri - who since that event has been....well....absent....

There is a complex weighted data set behind this chart. I have broken down at a high level how the standings were calulated.....

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Highlights:

Katy: at all the games, organized Sushi Palace night, catches every game, loves beets unconditionally - is the Dwight K. Schrute of our team

Teri: Teri has been MIA since our pre-season party - is the Creed Bratton of our team.

Tracy: at all the games, laughs while making plays, Sushi Palace night was for her b-day, takes pictures of kids urinating in parking lots, created this blog - is the Michael Scott of our team.

Britt: ate her weight in sushi at Sushi Palace, allows the team to call her various nicknames, Mercury Poisoning threatened her life, sends sassy emails when there are unfunny charts being sent - is the Stanley of our team.

Tara: Tara is lucky to be included in this chart, let alone our team. She is obviously the Meredith of our team

Jackie: at all the games, mocks 2 yr old children, nicknamed the DBs, teaches children the importance of a rape whistle, encourages children to seek weapons from sarah, feels bad that casey anthony spent all that time in prison when she was in fact innocent. one major negative for Jax was her scolding of Britt as Sushi Palace claiming she would in fact "waste food" - is the Angela of our team

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Looking forward to our Dundies....

The sippy cup incident

Tara: Ok - funny story to get you all to love each other again..............
Dinner time is a little hectic with a 2 YR OLD AND 3 YR OLD, a mini horse, a cat and a DB....
Soo tonight we were eating dinner and on my 2nd glass of wine, Maura wanted her sippy cup opened and water put in it from my cup - this particular sippy cup gets stuck (and should be in the garbage but that's another story). Big DB says throw it to me and I'll open it so I back hand it to him (with my left hand and I am a righty) and it goes flying a lot harder than I anticipated, hits him square in the forehead and slams into the glass sliding door (which thank goodness did not break)....soo as I am laughing uncontrollably I go over to apologize to DB and come to find out he is bleeding and within seconds has a huge lump on his forehead.....the kids are screaming why did you hurt Daddy??? The dog is barking, the cat is hissing and I just laugh and drink my wine..........................

No charts for this b/c I suck at charts but I hope you fun bags have a much better start to your weekends than the DB family did...............
SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tracy: This story had it all...
it made me laugh.
It made me cry.
It made me cringe.

It was lonely without a chart...
I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty of creating one...
I can't help myself.

t.web f-bag

Tracy responds late to "day after" email thread

I was a little crushed to have been left out of this nonsense, but thanks for giving me a chance to get a little work done today...

also, thanks for coming to my awesome party!
T

Sushi charts related to Tara

Sarah's sushi post

I've prepared the attached chart to provide more details on yesterday/ last night: