That's what friends are for....

Hello "Friends" -

This week has really opened my eyes. I have recently come to terms with who my real friends are. These people will support you no matter what decision you make…..that is …..unless that decision is to attend a different softball game than the one they're playing in. After an in depth texting "conversation" with Jackie I realized there are very few acceptable reasons to miss a Cheshire Softball game. Although we'd all assume a Lil Wayne Concert is one of those items - we are in fact wrong. I'm simply embarrassed for anyone that would think otherwise.















As most of you know I did in fact miss a game this week for one of the above "unacceptable" items. This resulted in complete destruction of my reputation as a reliable player as well as the destruction of my self esteem. Should I have gone to Cheshire and skipped my co-ed game??? Should I have risked my co-ed team forfeit due to not enough girls to play?? Should I have never signed up for that team?? These were all thoughts in my head as I was laying in bed last night receiving ridiculous amounts of sh*t for missing one game. Which leads me to this….
























Now for those that chose to respond to my lack of attendance with Option D - Cyber Bullying - well shame on you...



















As I recover from the copious amounts of cyber-bullying I have been receiving I have to ask myself - is this abuse worth the joy of being on this team? Simple answer - yes.

My Guardian Angel

So today when I arrived home from work I went through my usual routine of throwing my stuff down, greeting my pups and checking the mail. I assumed that today was going to be just like every other day, bills and useless credit card offers, but to my great surprise I had something special in the mail today, an actual letter! (Apparently some people still do that?) This letter was not a typical letter either. There was no return address! In a flurry of excitement and anticipation to find out who the mysterious sender of this letter was, I vigorously tore the envelope open and when I saw what was inside I knew I had a guardian angel watching over me. Right there was a shopping list made just for me listing off the fish that contain the LEAST mercury!! It even had a list of fish that contain moderate mercury and a note saying that I should only have 6 servings of those fish a month! Like I said, I clearly have a guardian angel watching over me because now I know what fish I can eat endless amounts of at Sushi Palace without getting mercury poisoning!

Using my impeccable deductive reasoning skills I noted that at the bottom of the shopping list it says that the source of information is the NRDC, so perhaps I have someone there watching out for me. I don't know if I will ever find out the sender of this saving grace, but I can only hope that when our blog goes public and we all make millions, that person might read it and know just how grateful I am. For now I feel that the best way for me to show my gratitude is by paying it forward and passing this shopping list onto all of you, so below I have inserted an image of the list. Normally I would have just rewritten the list, but I feel that seeing the actual list will have a greater impact on everyone.



Also, I updated my chart from earlier since some new stresses have come into my life and thought it was necessary to share it (not as necessary as posting the epic shopping list, but definitely more necessary than it is for our economy to turn around before I graduate)

MVP Standings...

And the MVP Leaders are...










As I'm sure many of you know I have been collecting data since the beginning of the season. This data has directly lead to our current MVP Standings. Since this data goes as far back as our pre-season get-together at Deb and Sue's I was forced to include Teri - who since that event has been....well....absent....

There is a complex weighted data set behind this chart. I have broken down at a high level how the standings were calulated.....

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Highlights:

Katy: at all the games, organized Sushi Palace night, catches every game, loves beets unconditionally - is the Dwight K. Schrute of our team

Teri: Teri has been MIA since our pre-season party - is the Creed Bratton of our team.

Tracy: at all the games, laughs while making plays, Sushi Palace night was for her b-day, takes pictures of kids urinating in parking lots, created this blog - is the Michael Scott of our team.

Britt: ate her weight in sushi at Sushi Palace, allows the team to call her various nicknames, Mercury Poisoning threatened her life, sends sassy emails when there are unfunny charts being sent - is the Stanley of our team.

Tara: Tara is lucky to be included in this chart, let alone our team. She is obviously the Meredith of our team

Jackie: at all the games, mocks 2 yr old children, nicknamed the DBs, teaches children the importance of a rape whistle, encourages children to seek weapons from sarah, feels bad that casey anthony spent all that time in prison when she was in fact innocent. one major negative for Jax was her scolding of Britt as Sushi Palace claiming she would in fact "waste food" - is the Angela of our team

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Looking forward to our Dundies....

Colin, do you have a safe place to stay tonight?

Just a reminder of this exchange at tonights game - a chart on this topic is still pending.

Sarah: "Colin, do you have a safe place to stay tonight?"
Colin: "no....I wish you would stay with us"
Tara (mortified): "oh....you're so cute"
Colin: "then give me a beer!"

30 minutes later...

Colin: "Sarah I need a weapon!"


Does anyone have the number for child protective services??

Sarah, I need a weapon!

This is my first attempt at a blog post, but being not that I'm not a moron and I have been using a computer for about 15 years now, I should think it wouldn't be that difficult to figure it out. I would say the same about my teammates but they have already admitted to being simply too lazy to put forth the effort.

So - knowing that I will be in Haddam again all day tomorrow, I have made use of what limited relaxation time I have with my husband (who is engrossed, equally, in Jake Gyllenthal being on Man vs. Wild and Kill Bill vol. 1 - depending on which program is in commercials, but probably more into Jake Gyllenthal) to create a chart that summarizes tonight's events. I may have missed a few things, but to me, these were the main highlights.

I will miss being on email with you all tomorrow but will be looking forward to some new emails, and maybe, just maybe, a new blog post!

ps. To those of you who say that you are "chart illiterate" (you know who you are...actually, we all do, because you've stated it in previous emails), I just wanted to say that, frankly, I'm embarrassed for you, as I have created this chart in 20 minutes, 15 of which were spent deciding which chart type best aesthetically depicted my data. However, in the event that you have really never created a chart and I am just 'taking for granted' that it comes so easily to me, I suppose we could have a short lesson, entitled, "making charts for dummies" or "making charts, for dummies". The title of the lesson would be fitting no matter where the punctuation goes.